Rhonda Rabow’s Newsletter
Rhonda Rabow, M.A.
Make The Law Of Attraction Work For You
Tips to stay positive over the holidays
I used to be envious of people who had family members close by during the holidays. I would ask them about their shopping, their decorating and their plans, expecting to see big smiles and excitement in their eyes. However, that wasn’t always the reaction I received. For some, it is a time of joy to celebrate with family and friends. There is an excitement and anticipation of giving and receiving gifts, of meeting with family and friends who they haven’t seen for a while, being off work and school and having vacation time to be together. For others, however, it can be a very stressful time; full of anxiety, feeling overwhelmed and disappointed. Estranged family members may be worrying about how their family will react to them. People dealing with recent losses find holidays a painful reminder of loved ones gone. Children may find it difficult having to celebrate the holidays with their parents in separate homes following a divorce. Singles on there own for the first time in a long while, may be feeling alone and depressed. So the holiday season has as many moods and feelings as the decorations on the tree. How we deal with these challenges will determine how much we celebrate the holiday season versus how much we try to escape from it.
Here are some tips that may help you get through the challenges and stresses of this time of the year. They will help enable you to make the best of challenging situations, minimize the possibility of chaos and conflicts, and focus on having more control over making this a wonderful holiday experience. Happy holidays to everyone!
1. Make a list of the friends you want to see over the holidays. Schedule some time with them, even if it’s only for coffee.
2. Be the “good enough shopper”. Stop trying to find the perfect gift. It is suppose to be the thought that counts and if you are that unsure; a gift card is always appreciated.
3. Forgive yourself for mistakes you have made and give yourself credit for the efforts you are making today.
4. If you are alone, go see a funny movie or read a suspenseful novel, clean out your drawers, give away old clothes. It will distract you and you will feel better about yourself.
5. Consider learning about positive coping tools to deal with depression and anxiety, e.g. breathing techniques, meditation, exercise, dancing, singing, being in nature. It will help you get through the holidays feeling more positive and calmer.
6. When spending time with your family, set your limits on how long you will stay.
7. Plan in advance how you will deal with challenging situations. Practice a few statements that will help you set limits without causing conflicts.
8. If you are bringing young children with you to a party, make sure they have napped and eaten before. Bring some toys. Children become cranky and difficult when they are hungry, bored or tired. Planning will help reduce the chances of them spoiling your evening.
9. Be realistic about expectations. If your relationship with your mother-in-law has been stressful in the past, don’t expect everything to change just because it is Christmas. Instead put your energy into how to handle her remarks in a way that will keep the peace but still leave you feeling empowered.
10. If the holidays are too painful for you this year, plan a get-a-way. It could just be for the weekend, but a change of scenery can be very helpful for changing the mood and the painful memories may feel a little less sharp with distance.
We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. Frederick Keonig
If you intend to be of assistance, your eye is not upon the trouble but upon the assistance, and that is quite different. When you are looking for a solution, you are feeling positive emotion. – but when you are looking at a problem, you are feeling negative emotion. Abraham-Hicks
Rhonda Rabow, M.A.
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