Arabic Chinese Dutch French German Greek Italian Japanese Korean Portuguese Russian Spanish

  Rhonda Rabow’s Newsletter

Rhonda Rabow, M.A.
Licensed Psychotherapist


5 Steps to Change

 Could you be living with a narcissist? by Rhonda Rabow One of the most common challenges I have heard my clients express is their difficulty to deal with or accept changes. Whether it is a change at work, at home, in their relationships, in their body, in their income or lifestyle; they all find it very challenging and disturbing and there is always a lot of resistance in accepting the fact that changes need to be made. One the one hand we all want to grow and improve our lives yet on the other hand we can find endless reasons and excuses for why we haven't taken the first step. It is for this reason that I thought this would be an interesting article for you to read and I hope it will help you with the changes you feel you need to make in your life.

Why is change so hard to achieve? First I think it is important to understand why people are so resistant to change. Many say there are 2 motivators to make a change. The first is when pursuing pleasure and the second is to avoid pain, You need to believe you are doing one or the other in order to be motivated to make changes. Most people are afraid of change. They focus more on what they might be losing rather than how the change will improve their life. Another reason for the resistance is they don't want to move out of their comfort zone. People will stay in an unhappy or even toxic relationship rather than leave, because as toxic as the situation is, it is a known that they are used to and they choose this rather than get out of their comfort zone to make a change. How many people join the gym in January only to stop going by February? They want to get in shape or else they wouldn't have joined, but if they don't have a plan and strategy to keep motivated, they lose interest, become discouraged and then drop out. In life there is one thing which is constant, and that is change. Yet, change is something we all battle.

5 Steps to Change

1. Accept that you need to make a change. Write down all the pros and cons for making this change. Tell someone your decision. This will give you accountability which will help you to stay motivated.

2. You need to have a plan and a strategy. If you want to get into shape, it's not enough to say you should join a gym. You need to find one and register for it. You need to wire yourself for success. If you notice that after work you are tired, find a gym close by, or go with a friend who will motivate you, or go to a gym on your lunch time. You need to expect you won't always feel like it but block in a schedule in your agenda that will help you to follow through.

3. Change your perspective. Instead of seeing change as something exhausting and difficult. See it as an opportunity for growth that will help raise your self- esteem and empower yourself. Growth is the process of reaching for something new while letting go of the old. Growth always leads to positive change in our lives. Whether it is a new relationship, a new job or exercise program. Making changes leads to positive change as it shifts from the old to embrace the new. Growth is the foundation of evolution and challenges us to become more in some area of our lives. Growth always produce change, but change does not necessarily produce growth. Growth is about evolving to become more of who you are meant to be.

4. Change your perspective. Instead of focusing only on what you are losing or giving up, consider how you will feel once you have accomplished your goal. Get excited about it. Genuine change involves emotion. Emotions enhance your motivation and they must be a part of change before genuine change can occur. Think about the peace, the pride, and sense of accomplishment you will enjoy once you have accomplished your goal.

5. Be persistent. Changes can take time. Start off with one step. Make an appointment to see the lawyer, the new gym, or get an interview for another job. You don't have to take the job or get the divorce; just get the information and consider your options. You are in control of what you do with this information, when, how and if you decide to proceed with it, but knowledge is power, the more you know the more empowered you will feel.

Empowerment Quote:
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

Rhonda Rabow, M.A.
Licensed Psychotherapist
Visit www.HelpHelpMeRhonda.ca for more FREE articles
Visit www.RhondaRabow.com for free excerpts from my new e-book on relationships
Please feel free to email me at: info@rhondarabow.com
or call at 614-626-4609

P.S. Please pass this forward to any friends or family members who may be interested.

P.S. Don't forget to check out my new podcast on my Facebook account [HERE]

 Newsletter, Rhonda Rabow, Discover the 3 Secrets by Rhonda Rabow, Happily Ever After by Rhonda Rabow Share this (with a friend)
 Newsletter, Rhonda Rabow, Discover the 3 Secrets Book by Rhonda Rabow, Happily Ever After by Rhonda Rabow Subscribe/Edit
 Newsletter, Rhonda Rabow, Discover the 3 Secrets by Rhonda Rabow, Happily Ever After Book by Rhonda Rabow Share a Story
 Newsletter, Rhonda Rabow, Discover the 3 Secrets by Rhonda Rabow, Happily Ever After by Rhonda Rabow Telecounselling
 Newsletter, Rhonda Rabow, Discover the 3 Secrets by Rhonda Rabow, Happily Ever After by Rhonda Rabow  
  • Guest Rhonda discussing Anxiety on CJAD radio,  Newsletter, Rhonda Rabow, Discover the 3 Secrets by Rhonda Rabow, Happily Ever After by Rhonda Rabow Click [HERE] to Listen
  •  Newsletter, Rhonda Rabow, Discover the 3 Secrets by Rhonda Rabow, Happily Ever After by Rhonda Rabow

    Newsletter History
     Deciding about your relationship by Rhonda Rabow Deciding about your relationship
     Couple Compatibility Test by Rhonda Rabow Couple Compatibility Test
     Saving Your Relationship Saving Your Relationship
     Tips to Win the War Over Worry by Rhonda Rabow Tips to Win the War Over Worry
     Self Confidence Quiz, Rhonda Rabow Newsletter Self Confidence Quiz
     Benefits of Being Single on a Holiday, Rhonda Rabow Newsletter Benefits of Being Single on Valentine's Day
     How do you Measure a Relationship, Rhonda Rabow Newsletter How do you Measure a Relationship?
     New Year's Resolutions and Sabotage by Rhonda Rabow New Year's Resolutions and Sabotage
     The Blame Game by Rhonda Rabow The Blame Game
     Do thoughts create reality? by Rhonda Rabow Do thoughts create reality?
     Are You In Control Of Stress by Rhonda Rabow Are You In Control Of Stress?
     Secrets For Controlling Anger by Rhonda Rabow Secrets For Controlling Anger
     Winning The War On Worry by Rhonda Rabow Winning The War On Worry
     Self Esteem Quiz by Rhonda Rabow Self Esteem Quiz
     Conquering Procrastination by Rhonda Rabow Conquering Procrastination
     Breaking Your Relationship Patterns by Rhonda Rabow Breaking Relationship Patterns
     Tips to stay positive over the holidays by Rhonda Rabow Stay positive over the holidays
     Steps-towards-a-harmonious-holiday by Rhonda Rabow Steps towards a harmonious holiday
     Living-with-a-Narcissist by Rhonda Rabow Living with a Narcissist
     Laws of Attraction by Rhonda Rabow Law of Attraction
     Are you a procrastinator? by Rhonda Rabow Are you a procrastinator?
     Living In Harmony by Rhonda Rabow Living In Harmony
     6 Exercises to Raising Your Self-Esteem by Rhonda Rabow Raising Your Self-Esteem
     Survive the Holidays by Rhonda Rabow Survive the Holidays
     Surviving Christmas by Rhonda Rabow Surviving Christmas
     Anger Questions by Rhonda Rabow Anger Questions
     New Years Relastionship Tips by Rhonda Rabow New Years Tips
     Are You Putting Yourself Last by Rhonda Rabow Are You Putting Yourself Last?
     Do Not Become Another Statistic by Rhonda Rabow Do Not Become Another Statistic
     Making Your Dreams Come True by Rhonda Rabow Making Your Dreams Come True
     What Kind Of Friend Are You by Rhonda Rabow What Kind Of Friend Are You?
     Risk of Separation by Rhonda Rabow Risk of Separation?
     Living Happily Ever After by Rhonda Rabow Living Happily Ever After
     How To Tell If Your Relationship Is Failing by Rhonda Rabow How To Tell If Your Relationship Is Failing
     Make-Law-Of-Attraction-Work by Rhonda Rabow Make The Law Of Attraction Work For You
     How-to-raise-your-child’s-self-esteem by Rhonda Rabow How to raise your child’s self-esteem
     Recognizing-Undiagnosed-ADHD by Rhonda Rabow Recognizing Undiagnosed ADHD
     Newsletter, Rhonda Rabow, Discover the 3 Secrets by Rhonda Rabow, Happily Ever After Book by Rhonda Rabow Current Newsletter